If someone you love has committed suicide, you are likely to feel anger, guilt, distress, disbelief and a whole range of other emotions.

Most people understand that people don’t take their own lives on impulse. Even if it looks as though one thing triggered the act, it’s likely only to have been the last straw: the situation will have been building up for some time. Your loved one may have shown no sign of mental illness or may have a history of depression; either way, nothing you could have said or done would have made any difference.

That can be hard to accept. Many people think “if only I’d done this, or that…”. But if someone is in a state where they feel the best thing they can do is take their own life, there is nothing you can do, so try not to blame yourself.

Your loved one may have given you plenty of warnings, and even attempted suicide on previous occasions. That places an enormous burden on you, and you may be relieved that it’s actually over – which can make you feel guilty about your relief. It’s a natural reaction to the end of the stress so, again, don’t blame yourself. You will have done everything you could in the past; this time they got the better of you.